01 June, 2012

Is dowry practice a root cause of other problems??

After watching 'Satyameva jayathe' episode 3, I feel dowry problem is not a single issue but is leading to several other problems.

1. If a marriage is involved with the dowry ( bride's parents forced to give dowry), how can a bride be happy with her husband without even mentioning the pain that their parents are facing? How can she make their in law's home a happy place when their parents are recovering from financial problems? Will it not create any problem in her marriage? Won't her husband be also a sufferer due to her behavior/ pain?

2. I feel, one of the root causes for female foeticide is dowry problem. Why I say this is - if you give birth to a daughter and you know that you have to pay a huge sum to get her married and see her happy in future, then you may feel baby boy is better than a baby girl. When parents don't have this fear in mind, then female foeticide may reduce. 

3. Another problem is illiteracy. Many people are not interested to make their daughters study well as per their wish. They think, if she becomes an engineer or doctor or any professional and earns well, searching for a suitable bridegroom of that stature and qualifications will become difficult, as they need to spend much on dowry for an engineer or doctor or any professional bridegroom. 

I know, days are changing. I am hearing this from my childhood. But, still, some people are not coming strong against dowry. I am not sure how many years will it take to completely eliminate dowry practice from India. 

I am dreaming of one scenario:
- Marriages happening with expenses paid by both bride, and bride groom's side equally
- Bride and bridegroom responsible for buying the furniture or anything related to their house independently without depending on either side of parents
- No dowry deaths, No female foeticide
- Girls getting educated and becoming independent 

But, I believe change comes from within us, as we are part of the society and we cannot blame others for this. I decided I will show the right path to my children and guide next generation to eliminate this social evil practice. What else can we do as an individual? Please share your opinion in 'comments' section.

Until next time,

Image courtesy: taken from google image search labeled for reuse


  1. Hi Mahati,
    Yes, dowry is a deep rooted malady in the society and i am sure it leads to many other problems,
    Good to be here, a well written piece. keep writing keep inform
    PS/ Pl. take out the word verification it irritates your readers i mean the commentators

  2. thanks for the suggestion Phil.. removed word verification.

  3. Wonderful... i am waiting for the day men stand up and say no to dowry, and women's families refuse to cave in to demands.

    Read my posts on this.... here ... and ... here too

  4. jeyasree9:15 AM

    yes.. Guys parents saying status as one of the reason for getting dowry... Atleast next generation should change this non sense thing...

  5. thanks for dropping by Ash and Jeyasree :)
    Even iam waiting for the day Ash
    truly said Jeyasree, our and next generation can change this

  6. Equality mindset will solve dowry issue to some extent, but most of the girls arent ready to marry a guy who is as jobless as her or having equal economic status or having similar job. Girls wanted a guy with lots of money, highest paying job, degree from premium institutes, luxury car, big house and guy shouldnt stay with his parents, the list is endless...

    if we are talking about dowry, we are talking about only 50% of the problem. If a girl is a free thinker, with decent education, job, financial independence, willing work hard for everything she wanted...instead of depending on marriage or future husband's wealth, she will definitely end up in a best marriage with nice guy who doesnt ask dowry.

    I still remember, few years back when my father was searching a girl for me, almost all of the girls' parents asked us focussed questions about money i saved, properties we've and when i will move to USA to earn in dollars. Only one family wasn't keen money and properties, had a decent conversation with me and my family, and that family is our in-laws today.


    1. That's true Ramki. If girls are earning they should be ready to marry guys who earn like them not to marry someone who is rich and have more wealth. I completely agree.


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